Despite the wild ubiquity of gift guides, where websites tell you which cashmere tea towels to buy for your step-cousin’s uncle thrice removed (the Classic Blue ones, duh), there’s an abysmal crater in the landscape.
So, speaking with completely unearned authority on behalf of creatives everywhere (who would all prefer I didn’t), here’s what your favorite copywriter/art director/web programmer/graphic designer actually wants this holiday season.
A synonym for “fun”
Regardless of what thesaurus.com—or its understudy, powerthesaurus.com—says, “amusement” or “enjoyment” doesn’t have the same bouncy, joie de vivre as “fun.”
If someone could invent a word that encompasses these, uh, joyous (see what I mean?) feelings in a not-so-trite way, that’d be, let’s see…that’d be great.
A Quib-tastic limited series for downtime binging
For all this talk about “failing harder,” no one’s bombed quite like Quibi. Which makes the ill-fated streaming platform—which folded in just six months, despite its $2 billi budget—the perfect subject for a prestige show.
Get Stanley Tucci to play Jeffrey Katzenberg, and of course, keep all the episodes under ten minutes. See y’all on Netflix!
Just one more day
A project can be a sad lump of papier-mâché Wednesday morning and a jaw-dropping replica of David (the statue, not Hasselhoff) by 4:59:59 p.m. Such is the difference a day makes.
What’s that? The best you can do is another ten minutes? WE’LL TAKE IT.
A timesheet flunky
In our industry, there’s this strange occurrence where we have to “fill out our timesheets” in order to “get paid.” Seems random, but apparently necessary.
When you work from home, you can’t blame colleagues for your dwindling supply of writing instruments. BONUS: if you pair this gift with a mirror, your favorite creative can confront the REAL “pen thief” face-to-face.
If all else fails—say you can’t get a meeting with The Tucch or wrangle those time-policing robots—don’t forget, there’s always alcohol.
Have a gift-wrapped weekend, everybody!
—Your always-generous-eternally-gracious friends at Brokaw