Now that mushy, gushy Valentine’s Day is over, let’s examine strong feelings on the opposite end of the spectrum: unabashed acrimony! After all, without arch nemeses, we wouldn’t have some of our greatest montages.
So we propose a new holiday where you work out your cabin-fever-fueled-aggression by contentiously taking sides in the feuds that define our nation. (Or its advertising, anyway.) Here are some topics to get you started:
Miller Lite vs. Bud Light
Bud Light took shots at Miller’s usage of corn syrup (like most multi-million dollar, multimedia arguments start). Miller retaliated by shining the harsh light of reality on their rival’s medieval fantasy with a “behind-the-scenes” spot that hinges on Bud Light actors’ betrayal. As this war rages on, your local dive bar remains divided.
P.S.: Why are we still holding debates when we already have a President of Beers?
Pepsi vs. Coke
Dubbed a “Blood Feud” (sure!), these companies have been at odds since before sugar was bad for you. About a century later, the Pepsi Challenge, a blind taste test/marketing stunt, sent Coca-Cola on a road to reinvention. They flopped with “New Coke” but then reverted back to the original recipe. These two can keep clawing it out, but the real question is: which one will do a better job cleaning the oil stain on my driveway?
McDonald’s vs. Burger King
Before the chicken wars made a peep, the world was split into Team Whopper and Team Big Mac. Full disclosure: like 78% of suburban America, I worked at Mickey D’s in high school, so I won’t try to persuade you. Besides, it’s all the same anyway—at least until that BK burger gets a little green.
Speaking of Macs—please decide our inter-office dispute:
Apple vs. Microsoft
Remember when Justin Long embodied the cool everyman? (Just makes me want to watch “Accepted” all over again!) Mac took a lot of digs at the square Microsoft, but don’t worry PC: you aren’t alone. Closer to Cleveland, Brokaw’s creative department gives our new windows a 10, but we’ll be Mac users for life.
Remember: whoever makes the most logical and well-reasoned argument wins. Just like real life!
Have a discourse-y weekend, everybody!
– Your neutral-like-the-Swiss friends at Brokaw