I have a dog. She’s what they call a Gentlemen’s Lab. Which means she’s a half-size lab who is owned by a gentleman who is me. Even at the arthritis-riddled age of twelve, Zoe is still cute and fun and nice. She rarely barks. She doesn’t eat our cats. She’s gentle with our children even when they don’t return the favor. Zoe forever.

This isn’t to say she’s perfect. She eats out of the litter box, weirdly moans in her sleep, and paces around late at night when I’m alone at the kitchen table trying to write a poorly thought out blog post about email marketing.

Which reminds me: nobody really likes email marketing. Most of it is very bad. And even the good stuff is rarely appreciated. I know, I’ve written an estimated 30,000 “eblasts.”

And I recognize the irony of writing a blog about how nobody likes email marketing. It’s why I incorporated my dog into this. It’s a clumsy writer trick called “borrowed interest.” And my plan to keep you reading about a subject that probably doesn’t appeal to you hinges on hopefully creating an emotional connection with my dog. With that in mind, let’s take a look at some other “tricks” this email employs to keep you reading (that you can use for your own selves):

Keep subject lines stimulating.

A subject line is your attempt at restarting a long-term conversation. Over and over again. So try to keep it pithy while hinting at the content within. 

Speaking of content, make it useful.

Give your readers a little something they can use with the assumption they’ll come back for more. Like how I’m telling you how to write your own eblasts but am secretly hoping you’ll just give up and ask us to do it.

Stick to your brand voice.

For example: if you read our blog posts with any regularity, I’m guessing it’s because you prefer your advertising/marketing insights delivered with some mild irreverence and maybe a weird video.

Don’t overstay your welcome.

You know, because people are busy. That said, let me wrap this up by emotionally connecting you with my dog again (she’s going deaf, and it’s heartbreaking) and then leaving on a high note with a timely cat joke. Here it comes…

Next week: how cats are good at public relations. Just kidding. Cats don’t care about any of us.