As vaccinations continue to roll out and your favorite agency begins to re-open, we’re greeting happy hour with open arms, empty hands, and honestly, a tight-lipped-semi-grimace.
Of course, we’re always down for a twelve-ounce coldie. But on the other hand: how do we do things again?
Luckily, the guardians of the beer galaxy are here to help make the most of your hangout.
Step 1: Take proper precautions
You’ll want to do your part to stay protected. Heck, even your cousin from Boston is getting the jab so he can grab a Sam Adams inside (exactly as the Green Monster intended). Just make sure that when you reach for your cah keys, you grab your pocket hand sanitizer, too.
Step 2: Collect on old favors
Remember all those beers people promised to grab “when this is all over”? Miller Lite is ready to help you collect. So, call up the first friend you can think of who has shaved their quaran-beard, and remind them they owe you for supporting that cringe-y pizza review podcast they started during lockdown.
Step 3: Meet up
Now comes the main event: actually executing the hang. Maybe it’ll be like Anheuser-Busch’s “Grab a Beer,” a heart-string-tugging spot that hits us square in the stay-at-home feels. Or perhaps it’ll involve standing shoulder-to-shoulder with sweaty strangers, straining to hear your own thoughts as Journey blares. It’s good to be back!
Step 4: Recover and repeat
So, you wake up with “Faithfully” in your head, and all those hard seltzers have you bedridden. Or maybe you brilliantly stayed sober because you enjoy feeling like not-trash. Regardless, Smartwater and Pete Davidson teamed up to remind you to stay hydrated. After all, we’re going to do this all again next weekend.
So, as you head out into the real world, drink in the knowledge that better days are brewing, and ads will be by your side the whole way.
Have a safely social weekend, everybody!
—Your always-toasting friends at Brokaw