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Unlike a certain democratic process, we are NOT going to play head games.

We’re just going to recount (sorry) some non-partisan, ad-centric advice gleaned from this absolutely exhausting week.

Because we’ll take the distractions where we can, right?

Reflect real life

Of course, the real winners this week are the ubiquitous Big Maps. Every news outlet has one, and when a Laser Pointer Guy pulled up good old Cuyahoga County, I actually gasped.

The point being, people love—and deserve—to see themselves represented. Which just so happened to be the inspiration behind Adobe’s “When I See Black” campaign. So whether futzing around with touch screens or concepting creative, never underestimate the power of highlighting different perspectives.

Read the room

For every “key race alert,” there was an expert ready to explain what the heck it meant. And reassurances that we should “not panic yet” were coming from both sides of the aisle. On-air personalities are great at anticipating the national mood, and responding accordingly.

Gap, on the other hand? Not so much! Their widely derided Election Day tweet suggested our country could rally around a logo hoodie. Reminder: Before your brand shares a take on the most nerve-shredding circumstances in recent history—regardless how well-intentioned it is—maybe just…don’t.

Alcohol helps

This is purely anecdotal.

Keep them guessing

One haunting refrain has been ringing in my ears since Tuesday. Say it with me: “Too early to call.” And yet, keeping everyone guessing is a great way to get attention for, I don’t know, 98 straight hours. (Or for the one minute it takes to share your surprisingly gross meet-cute.)

After all, everyone loves a plot twist. I mean, not when the results of a precarious presidential election hang in the balance, but definitely when it comes to ads.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go refresh the Associated Press website. Again. And again. You get it.

Have a slow news weekend, everybody!

—Your fast-counting friends at Brokaw

Exit pop-ups are .007% less annoying than intro pop-ups.

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